Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Boys Who Need Breasts.

There's a distinct lack of compassion in the fangirl community these days. The poison unleashed on men who draw female characters with ample cleavage is awful. I'm asking you all to please stop. Just stop. Let me explain to you why these men deserve our compassion.

Take the following picture,



Although Power Girl has always been known for her extraordinary cup size this picture has attracted a lot of negative attention. A lot of whining from female fans that this is a ridiculously sexualized pose. Take another look. Note how the breasts are presented, yes presented, to the viewer on a shelf of fabric. How uniform, how smooth...how milky white. Are they not presented with the perfection of honeydew melons on a grocers shelf? Sex? the furthest thing from the artists mind. This is about nourishment!

The primary function of the female breast is to nourish her young. This is about men who crave a mother's milk! This is about men who were once boys who were once infants whose mothers fed them from sterile, cold bottles!

This is hard to accept, I know, but please bare with me. Look into Power Girl's eyes. See how she tilts her head as if to look down on her child. See how her eyes widen with a mother's love. See how her lips pout as if to give her infant a tender kiss!

It's so obvious once you overcome your militant feminist programming. Power Girl is the mother. She is the one that beckons the infant in all men to come and embrace her and to suckle. The men who you recklessly dismiss as pigs are in fact little boys simply craving the love and milk denied to them as infants!

Frank Cho, who so sadly uses the dog to express his own need...


Michael Turner who so mourns the lost bond with his mother and her breasts that he seeks to frame the twin orbs in divine light...

Greg Land, obviously remembering the moment when he bit and his mother switched him to that unfeeling bottle...

Rob Liefeld who...um....


...ah...Well, nevermind. In the context of this blog post, that's just disturbing.

Back to the point of this plea. It's not about sex, it's about infants denied their basic right to motherly milk. This is not the fault of the men who draw these women but the natural concequence of foisting a glass cylinder filled with a poor imitation of the breasts' most natural gift. Feel for these men! Feel for the infants that cry in their hearts! The inner infants that chew on their fists and sob for the bond that nursing produces! Look in the eyes of the next well-endowed superheroine you see and notice the plea in her eyes. It's a reflection of the plea in the heart of the man who drew her.

Don't hate them. Don't belittle them. Weep for them.

*sob*

10 Comments:

At 7:22 AM, Blogger SallyP said...

*sob* indeed! Sorry, can't stop snickering.

 
At 12:27 PM, Blogger Betty said...

You're right. I'd like to take this opportunity to apologize to all the men whose tragic o'er early weaning I have mocked.

 
At 8:33 PM, Blogger Ami Angelwings said...

XDDD

You officially win :D

 
At 11:19 PM, Blogger VP19 said...

Gee, if Power Girl could borrow the power to grow from Elasti-Girl of the Doom Patrol, she could nurse an entire city of men.

 
At 12:49 PM, Blogger Dawn said...

She could change her name and become Mammary Marm!

 
At 8:37 PM, Blogger The Troll said...

"It's so obvious once you overcome your militant feminist programming." ( nice commentary Dawn) Power Girl is the mother. She is the one that beckons the infant in all men to come and embrace her and to suckle. The men who you recklessly dismiss as pigs are in fact little boys simply craving the love and milk denied to them as infants!" SOME men are pigs; SOME men are enlightened beyond the feminine stereotyping of our purported behavior.

Yuck. Boobs. The world is drowning in them, they are being foisted upon us boys from birth; we don't ask for that, but that is what we get.HUgs upon hugs from aunties, grannies,mommies: our little faces crammed full of smothering tit that we didn't ask for.
Then, to make things much worse, we get blamed for lookin every time some chesty-nut unrolls the boob parade in public--I have often wondered if men looking at that isn't because they are afraid of more smothering, and perhaps looking is just "being on guard", when boobs are thus presented.
I mean, imagine a world where women walked around naked? I imagine the sex drive of men would disappear, having to look at boobs all day--uneven boobs, old boobs, saggy boobs,lopsided boobs, nursing boobs with cracked nipples, or boobs that wish they had milk, and some guy to ensnare to put the milk hormone causing agent there( ahem: the sperm donor boobs)I guess boobs like boobs.
However,I think your analysis is on the money at least as far as cartoonists go. It would be safe to say that perhaps the reason that cartoonists fetishize breasts is because they are all nerds who ( as you aptly state) are cut off a little early, or given the boob substitute from birth, or worst of all: too busy creating their own reality via comic book to actually draw real boobs; then again, if their were no boobs who read the exagerated imagery of anime, manga and comix, who would fetishize the boobs who have them?
Good breast fed guys learn early that cows milk is tastier, and breast milk is yukki anyways, cuz it smells funny, and comes from humans. I mean to get inside the little boy mind, think of all the OTHER stuff that comes from humans;-)

 
At 5:27 AM, Blogger Leo said...

*giggle*

 
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